The Day I Learned the Difference

I hired Sofia and Nina the same week in January 2025.

 

Sofia watched our senior strategist Elena like she was taking mental notes. When Elena nailed a pitch, Sofia would ask her about it over coffee. When Sofia’s own campaign flopped, she’d dissect it in meetings, genuinely wanting to learn.

Nina watched Elena too. But when Elena presented ideas, Nina would poke holes—not to improve them, just to create doubt. When Elena won praise, Nina would mention how she’d “done something similar but harder” at her last job.

 

By summer, the difference was impossible to miss.

Sofia was a competitor. Nina was an opposition.

 

Sofia wanted to be better, so she studied everyone’s wins. When I promoted someone, she’d take them to lunch to learn what they did right. When Sofia won an industry award in August, Elena was the first person she thanked.

Nina? She skipped the celebration lunch, claiming she was “too busy.” Days later, I heard her telling a new hire that awards were “mostly politics anyway.”

Competition lifts people up while climbing. Opposition tears people down to feel taller.

I tried coaching Nina. Gave her feedback, opportunities, and mentors. But opposition isn’t a skill gap—it’s a mindset. By October, her energy was poisoning the team. I had to let her go.

Sofia’s now my Creative Director. The culture she’s built is both ambitious and collaborative—people pushing each other to be excellent without the toxicity.

The Lesson for 2026

If you’re building anything this year – a team, a company, a life – learn to spot the difference fast:

Competitors celebrate your wins. Oppositions feel threatened by them.

Competitors want to learn from you. Oppositions want to diminish you.

Competitors make everyone better. Oppositions make everyone smaller.

Keep the Sofias close. Show the Ninas the door.

Your attention, your energy, your company—they’re all too valuable to waste on people who need you to fail so they can feel successful.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​